What we learned from being scammed

We need a new fence, it has finally succumbed to the Scottish winter storms. So money saved up. Time to find a fence building company.

Enter interference from dyslexia and ADHD and OH contacted the wrong guy, not the one with the five star reviews, address and phone number on the profile, but one with a similar company name. First contacts were good. Polite, fast to respond all good. So OH didn’t pick up on it.


Asks for money for material, no unusual for small local businesses, there is a lot of fence, hence a lot of material, hence a lot of money, and small businesses cannot always lay out that kind of money. Promise was made to show up on a Monday.

After money was send OH realised it was the wrong guy and had a funny feeling. Monday came round and the excuses started:

  • car broken
    • This next to funeral is his favourite excuse
  • Tuesday and eventually Wednesday came and no material. Chris Martin, Hamilton, Scotland (also goes by Martin Chris, Tam Anderson, The Fence Guy, Fence Man, CM Fencing) seems to be a professional fraudster and con-artist. After the broken car came the:
  • family emergency
  • family funeral
    • according to the countless times he used this excuse he must have
      • a: had a massive family and
      • b: they are now all dead
  • mental health issues
    • are not an excuse–ever! They can be an explanation but that’s not what he is doing, he uses various issues he may or may not have (I am honestly not buying it, I believe he is a sociopath, after spending time reading his public Facebook posts)
    • Also he does not give a dime about anyone else’s mental health and the devastation he is causing
  • drug addiction
    • he keeps forgetting which one he is allegedly addicted to, according to various people we spoke to: It’s all of them.
    • again, it’s not the excuse he thinks it is
    • if (and that is a big “IF”) this is true I do hope he gets the help he needs
    • effectively he has yet to demonstrate actual remorse: not the grandstanding in public hoping he gets a lesser sentence stuff
  • he threatened one of the victims we spoke to that his uncle who works in the police station in Hamilton would become involved because he didn’t like their attitude (we have the screenshot of this conversation)
    • They were ‘really cheeky’ and wanted their money back
    • And that threat alone is criminal!
  • he kept sending taunting text messages to another victim, we have been told basically going: hahaha I got your money
    • so much for regrets, and being sorry
    • and another tick in my: I believe he is a sociopath box
  • he called my OH stupid for having fallen for his con
    • again no empathy, no understanding of impact of his actions or wrong doing: sociopath?
  • OH has gone public and dozens of people have come forward
    • since then Chris Martin (Hamilton, Scotland) has run scared and randomly started putting envelops with cash through people’s letter boxes
  • mind you we have to assume that the money he gives to some of his victims is money he conned off someone else
    • after all he got over £3000 from OH only a week ago
    • Where is all that money gone?
  • he also becomes extremely aggressive if you do not play along to his “woe is me I am so poor and have mental health” stick
    • at which point he starts calling you names, threatens you, or makes fun of you
  • he films himself putting cash into envelops which he is putting in people’s letter boxes! 🤦‍♀️ (I kid you not, we have the evidence!)

Anyway, here is the problem with the “sending random cash to some of the victims” act (and by no means all of them!). I am translating this into a metaphor since Chris Martin (Hamilton, Scotland) still entirely lacks the understanding that
a: he has done something wrong and
b: how much damage, not just financially he has caused.


So here is the metaphor:
Imagine a random guy intentionally breaks someone’s leg. Then when the victim complaints, random guy goes and knocks over someone who is wearing a leg cast, stealing the cast. Proceeds to take a part (not even all of it) of the leg cast and sticks it onto the broken leg. But that’s not all! No he is filming himself sticking the bit of leg cast onto the leg he intentionally broke and then expects everyone to “aw” and coo and say what a good boy he is.

That’s basically his mindset. Absofuckinglutely no comprehension whatsoever of what he has done, no guilt, no remorse. Nada!


Oh yes of course when he thinks he is in trouble he will do the “woe is me act” and if you still say you want your money back he then gets aggressive and says: I don’t know what you want from me I apologised. (He literally has said that to OH.)

So here is the learning.

  • If you have an attention or reading comprehension issue. Ask someone to double check your sources for you! Before you book a company.
    • Mind you considering how many wrong orders I place (ADHD Hooray!) probably do this for most significant purchases.
  • If a company only has a Facebook page: no address, no phone number, no customer ratings: Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
    • These are basically the new post-box scams.
  • If a small business cannot afford to pay for material. Ask them to provide you a quote for material they need, and offer a list of potential suppliers. Then buy the material yourself.
    • Do not trust a single supplier source because they could be working together.
    • And if then the company turns out to be a scam and no show you at least already have the material and not lost out. (That was our mistake. Too busy to take care of this.)

ADHD Emotional Pain

When you feel like a fraud because you can’t just:

Just answer that email
Just take that call
Just hear what he is saying
Just remember what she just asked you to do
Just not cry before a meeting
Just call customer service
Just not feel as if you are making it up
Just not feel helpless
Just pay the bills
Just not forget lunch in the fridge for weeks
Just not have burning skin because of too much

Just not be muddled
Just not be messy
Just not be moody

Just not have a rotten banana in your backpack since before Christmas
Just not have an anxiety attack in a meeting

Just be normal?
Be normal!
Be normal!

Not feel like a drama queen
Not feel as if you are constantly asking for things others don’t need
Not be so emotional ALL THE TIME
Not question your sanity after trying to scan your staff card at the water cooler
Not have brain fog
Not have ALL the emotions

Did I mention the emotions?

Mind your Mind

Mindful-ness
Mindless

Mind-Full
Mind-Empty

Nothing
Not even the birds
I hear my steps
My breath
And raindrops
Gently falling from saturated trees
Silver sheen
On bark and pine
Grey skies
Diamond droplets
My mind calms

I hold
Stand still
Listen
No more steps
Just the droplets
Still gentle
My mind calms

And raises from depths unknown
Pictures of inherited memory
I freeze
With pictures of wilder-beasts
Of teeth
Of claws
And threatening snarls

Archaic memories

Scenting
Listening
Watching
No smells but earth and rain
No sounds but droplets
No feeling of being watched

I continue my walk
But still sing

mo ghile mear